Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops?Apparently they make you look hard.
My wife can be a right hurtful bitch sometimes. Yesterday she gave birth to a baby boy and we were both looking at him in his bath So I turned to the wife, with a cheeky grin on my face, and said, "he"s quite big down there, isn"t he?"She said, "yeah, but at least he"s got your eyes."