A man pulls up a stool at his favourite
bar and says: 'My wife loves me more
than any woman has ever loved any man.'
'Why do you say that?' the barman asks.
'Well, the man explains, last week I had
to take two days off sick from work. MY
wife was so thrilled to have me around that
every time the milkman or postman came,
she'd run outside waving and yelling: My
old man's home! My old man's home!