Limericks Anyone???

[Slapshot]

There was a young man of Devizes
Whose balls were of two different sizes
The one was so small
It weighed nothing at all
But the other had won several prizes

[excelsior-1]

there was a young lady from venus .............

[marval]

There was a young harlot from Kew,
who filled her vagina with glue,
she said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
they’ll pay to get out of it, too.”

[Stephen_G]

A Policeman from Nottingham Junction,
whose organ had long ceased to function,
deceived his good wife,
for the rest of her life,
by cleverly using his truncheon.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
to fetch her poor doggy her bone,
but as she bent over,
along came old Rover,
and gave her a bone of his own.

A Cricket supporter called Rees,
watched the game with his girlfriend Denise,
but the South Yorkshire league,
never held the intrigue,
of his bat and two balls at her crease.

On the t1t$ of a barmaid at Yale
Was printed the prices of Ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind...
Was the same information in braille.

[Wharton]

Nymphomaniacal Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
The found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

[marval]

There was a young woman named Sally,
who loved an occasional dally,
she sat on the lap,
of a well endowed chap,
and said “You’re right up my alley!”

[owdhamer]

There was a young man from Bombay
who sha-------d 20 chickens a day
he wouldn't stop f--------g
till they all started clucking
and he ate all the eggs in a day

[shoota]

Whilst Titian was mixing rose madder
His model reclined on a ladder.
As time went by
she gave him the eye,
So he climbed up the ladder and had-her!

[Cruciformist]

The randy old Bishop of Birmingham
Used to rape little girls when confirming 'em.
To shouts of applause
He'd remove their drawers
And shove his episcopal worm in 'em!

[Canary42]

There was a young lad from Calcutta
Who looked through a hole in a shutter
But all he could see
Was a woman's bare knee
And the Yabbie of the chap who was up her

[Canary42]

OOOPs, that got moderated - yabbie = a r s e

[Canary42]

There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
To save time and trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went

[DTCwordfan]

A shapely young lady named Jenna
coloured her pubics with henna.
At the beach she was crude
and sunbathed in the nude.
She was promptly invited to dinnah.

[Zacs-Master]

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on hr back and opened her c***k
And pi55ed all over the ceiling.

[DTCwordfan]

There once was a man from Melbourne
Who really enjoyed watching porn
He whacked with his right
just so he could keep it in sight
Up until his dick was torn

[maggiebee]

OMG - won't even try to top any of these!

[Zacs-Master]

Just for reference Great Horton is a district of Bradford where I grew up....

There was a young man from great Horton
Who's sexual organ was a short un
To make up for,this
He had balls like a hoss (horse)
And a thrust like a 350 Norton

Thankyou Mark.

[DTCwordfan]

A randy young man from the Cape
Was trying to rape an ape.
The ape said "You fool,
You'll damage your tool
And you're putting my a-rse out of shape."

[The Builder]

There was a young man from Peru
Who's limericks stopped at line two...

[Canary42]

There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
A whole load of grass
Sprouted out of her [rhyme]
And her frunt was all covered in weeds

[starone]

Amazing, I didn't know there were so many. LOL