News0 min ago
Sarcasm
When I left home, my mum said, "Don't forget to write."
I thought, "That's unlikely... It's a basic skill, isn't it?"
I was in London today and jumped into a black cab. I said, "Waterloo, mate."
He said, "The station?"
"Well, I'm a bit late for the battle."
My friends say I'm too easy to please.
I was delighted when they told me.
My partner and I plan to recreate every position from the Kama Sutra tonight using only Lego bricks.
The excitement is building.
In future I'm going to Sainsbury's to buy their own brand of condoms
apparently you can really Taste the Difference.
My mate just texted me saying, "I wanna read a book. Wat wud you recommend?"
"The Oxford English Dictionary" I replied.
I just phoned for a pizza and asked the woman, "How long will it be?"
She said, "It’ll be round."
I was at the shopping centre today, when a woman with a clipboard stopped me and asked where I get my electricity from at the moment.
I told her I'm pretty sure it comes into my house through some kind of wire.
A Kleeneze catalogue gets put through my letter box every month, and a couple of days later a lady calls to collect it. This has been going on for years now.
Wouldn't it be easier if they just sent it to her in the first place?
It’s very handy that all the High Court Judges names are Mr. Justice what are the odds?
I thought, "That's unlikely... It's a basic skill, isn't it?"
I was in London today and jumped into a black cab. I said, "Waterloo, mate."
He said, "The station?"
"Well, I'm a bit late for the battle."
My friends say I'm too easy to please.
I was delighted when they told me.
My partner and I plan to recreate every position from the Kama Sutra tonight using only Lego bricks.
The excitement is building.
In future I'm going to Sainsbury's to buy their own brand of condoms
apparently you can really Taste the Difference.
My mate just texted me saying, "I wanna read a book. Wat wud you recommend?"
"The Oxford English Dictionary" I replied.
I just phoned for a pizza and asked the woman, "How long will it be?"
She said, "It’ll be round."
I was at the shopping centre today, when a woman with a clipboard stopped me and asked where I get my electricity from at the moment.
I told her I'm pretty sure it comes into my house through some kind of wire.
A Kleeneze catalogue gets put through my letter box every month, and a couple of days later a lady calls to collect it. This has been going on for years now.
Wouldn't it be easier if they just sent it to her in the first place?
It’s very handy that all the High Court Judges names are Mr. Justice what are the odds?
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