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marval | 16:31 Sat 26th Jan 2013 | Jokes
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I came downstairs this morning to see that my curtains were drawn.
All the furniture was real though.


I never let my children watch big band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins.


I got fined by the council today for letting my dog foul in the park.
He ran up and tackled a poodle from behind.


A man goes home to his wife and shows her his latest tattoo of a spreadsheet on his chest.
"You've really Excelled yourself this time!" she says.


Headline taken from the Peterborough Evening Telegraph:
"MPs call for jobs blow to be reversed"


Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?
or is it just one of Granny's myths?


I was reading through the ingredients for a fruit salad I'm making today and it said:
"Pineapples: five cubed."
I'm not sure though, 125 will probably be too many.


Ten words, two commas, an exclamation mark and a full stop all appeared in court yesterday.
They're due to be sentenced next week.


I missed my bus this morning.
I really shouldn't get so sentimental about public transport.




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Good 'uns M. :)

jem
More laughs marval!!
Marval, all good, but the one about ten words, two commas etc is brilliant.
very amusing, really good stuff.

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