Fifty Shades...

[askyourgran]

Me missus bought a paper back down town on Saturday,
I gad a peep inside the bag, it was 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

Well I just left her to it, at ten I went to bed,
An hour later she appeared, the sight filled me with dread,

Her left hand held a length of rope and in her right a whip,
She threw then down upon the floor, and then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago, I might have had a peek,
But Doris hasn't weathered well, she's eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worst, she toppled off her zimmer.

She struggled up upon her feet a coupla minutes later.
She put her teeth back in again and said that I must dominate her.

Now if you knew our Doris, you'd see just why I'd spluttered
I'd spent two weeks in traction the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude, just naked like but forward, just a bit,
I took a pace to brace myself and stood on her left tit.

Old Doris screamed her teeth shot out, My God what had I done.
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the other one".

Well readers I will say no more of what went on that day
Suffice to say my jet black hair went fifty shades of grey.

[daftgrandad]

Very,very funny !

[frugalfred]

I fell about laughing! Absolutely brilliant!

[rowanwitch]

*Chortlesplutters* absolutely hilarious

[mallyh]

lol great x when oh saw me in the raw he said your track suit needs ironing lol

[Baldric]

Loved it, still laughing,

[frugalfred]

I read this out loud to my OH in the style of Pam Ayres. OH laughed so much, she has gone upstairs to change her underwear.

[mallyh]

just told oh this, made him laugh after a hard days work lol

[marval]

lol brilliant

[askyourgran]

Glad it made you smile. I made me laugh too.