A Little Smile?

[marval]

So then they handcuffed me and said, “Anything you say can and will be held against you.” I said “Johnny Depp.”


I changed my password to “Incorrect,” So whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say “Your password is Incorrect.”


I’m great in bed, I never fall out.


I have to stop saying “How stupid can you be?” I think people are starting to take it as a challange.


I may not be wonder woman, but I can do things that make you wonder.


I am going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.


Calories, tiny creatures that live in your wardrobe and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.


They say a glass of wine a day is good for you. The bottle is glass right?


When I get old I don’t want people thinking “What a sweet little old Lady.” I want them saying, “Oh bother! What is she up to now?

[excelsior-1]

very good, marval

i can relate to the 'calories' one

[jim360]

The first one was the best - and the rest was also well worth a read. Thanks again marval!

[heathfield]

I can relate to the wine one - Hic.

[zebo]

A colleague told the parent of a lazy pupil that there was a piece of coursework outstanding. The parent preened, until it was clarified.