Healing...
An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV
one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends,
I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this
program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the
part of your body that ails you, and I will heal you."
The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places
one hand on the television and the other hand on her stomach.
Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on
top of the TV and the other hand on his groin.
With a frown, his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the
sick, not raising the dead."