Are You From Yorkshire?

[maggiebee]

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.

Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"

*******

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."

*******

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"

Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"

Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

*******

The last is always best

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"

[marval]

That's a good one

[craft1948]

When I worked in London in 1989, on loan for a year, the London person sitting next to me asked me why I'd volunteered to work there.
I told him I was saving up to have electricity installed at home as the gas light wasn't great................he believed me.

[marval]

Bloke takes his girlfriend up to his flat for the very first time. 'Ere', he says, 'you get dressed up in these oil-skins and sou'wester.'

Being quite keen on the dressing-up scene, she rapidly obliges.

'Nah then, lass, you 'op up on top o' that wardrobe,' he urges.
She thinks, 'Hello, this looks promising', and swiftly gets up on the wardrobe.

'Nah then, chuck, kick yer heels against 't-cupboard doors'.
She obliges.
"That's the thunder,' he shouts.

"Nah then, keep kicking' he says, while handing her up a bowl of water.
'Nah then, whilst tha' keeps kicking, start flickin' t'watter on me.'

She is much intrigued, but does as he requests.
'EEEh, champion,' he exclaims, 'that's rain, that is.'

'Nah then, whilst tha's flickin' watter, and kicking t'cupboard, reach over with thee left hand and flick that light switch on and off.'

She is pretty adept at multi-tasking and is soon doing all three simultaneously, kicking her heels against the wardrobe doors, flicking the water and switching the lights on and off.'

'Gradely,' he shouts in glee, 'that's lightning that is!'

'Yes, she says (in some frustration), but aren't you supposed to make love to me?'

'In this bl**dy weather?' he replies, “'No chance o' that.”

[Zacs-Master]

Nah then. Thad better watch thi back.