Time For A Laugh

[marval]

Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom?
Sails went through the roof.


My driving instructor told me, never brake if there's an animal in the road.
You should have seen the look on the copper's face as I knocked him off his horse.


I hate it whenever I'm in the car and I see one of those road signs that says "Draw Bridge Ahead" and I don't have a pencil.


I've bought a Dodge Charger off eBay.
Now all I've got to do is find an electric Dodge.


Since I started gardening with Doc Brown and Marty McFly they've stopped me growing simple flowers and encouraged me to grow complicated vegetables.
I really miss the good old days of flower growing - I wish I could go back to the fuchsias.


I took my car to the garage today.
"It looks like your belt is knackered mate"
"Really?" I said "how do you know?"
"Your trousers are on the floor."


Roundabouts - Never straight forward, are they?


Grumpy drivers travel at Hmph.


I was driving behind a car today when it suddenly pulled over and a woman stepped out.
She walked up to my window and said, "I've got a flat".
I said, "Ok, I'll follow you there".


I’ve just bought a new car which will help me get from A to B, the only problem is I live in Kew


I see you can now get a £100 on-the-spot fine if you're caught undertaking.
That's the end of my funeral business.


My friend Jack Hughes went to France, but whenever he introduced himself to people they got all defensive.


I took my new car back to the garage.
"I don't understand it," I said, "every time I drive past a vicar there's a beep and a number comes up on the instrument panel."
"Don't worry about that," replies the dealer, "that's just the rev counter."


Why are London buses red?
Well you'd be red if you had to come every ten minutes.


I am about to pay a deposit on a well-earned holiday in the Romanian capital.
I'm going to Bucharest.


My boss is annoyed because I was late to work after being stopped by every red light on the route in.
He says I should use brothels in my own time.


They've just finished painting the Forth Bridge. It took them ten years.
They could have saved themselves all that trouble by just taking a photograph.

[excelsior-1]

brilliant, marval

i do wonder what drives you sometimes

[Fanriffic]

These are brilliant. Some really goods ones. Ha ha. :')

[starone]

I love plays on words. Brilliant marval.

[jim360]

Lots of great ones in this set, thanks!

[tonyav]

Some crackers in that lot, marval.

[Spoonboy]

Love the copper joke. Had me in stitches. Here's a similarly veined joke for you...

What is red and lies in the gutter? A dead bus!