The Wife (Again)

[excelsior-1]

I said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.'

I upset the wife's mother the other Guy Fawkes Night. I fell off the fire.

She told me it was her 30th birthday. So I put thirty candles on her cake arranged in the shape of a question mark.

(copyright, the latest les dawson)

[excelsior-1]

(latest?) ... late

[marval]

I went to my solicitor and told him I was looking to get a divorce because my wife hadn't spoken to me in six months, he told me to think it over, "wives like that are hard to get!"

[excelsior-1]

'chuckle'

[marval]

I once placed an advert in my local paper: "Wife Wanted", I got 82 replies all saying "you can have mine!"

[excelsior-1]

one of those responses was me

[excelsior-1]

another three from the master...

...

She was the flabbiest stripper I've ever seen. When she ran off the stage she started her own applause.

Ours is a football marriage, we keep waiting for the other one to kick off.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

[marval]

My wife hung up the phone after half an hour chatting, I said, "that was short, you're usually on a couple of hours", she said "it was a wrong number"!

[Jemisa]

Awww! I remember dear old Les, thanks for all these each one "A Cracker"

jem.

night-night