It Is Time

marval | 14:34 Tue 28th May 2013 | Jokes

4 Answers

I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
He said, “Only if you make up the time."
I said, “OK. It's 35 past 50."

It's just taken me nearly four hours to eat a dozen watches.
It was very time consuming.

11:59:59 am is my favourite time of day.
It's second to noon.

My mum’s sister is very knowledgeable when it comes to time pieces,
good old Aunty Clockwise.

My mate has just offered me a share in his new time travelling business.
I had to turn him down though; I just couldn’t see a future in it.

I bought myself a new 24 hour clock yesterday.
It's rubbish. It only lasted a day.

My mate texted me yesterday telling me to meet him at half six. Well I turned up at three and he was three and a half hours late.

Oh well, I've Just looked at the clock and decided to call it a day. Which is stupid because it's a clock!

My favourite clock has just stopped.
I'm going to have a day of morning.

I'm good at polishing my watch. It's my time to shine.

After getting a job at the clock factory, I asked my new boss:
"What hours will I do?"
He said, "Are you stupid? All 12 of them."

I was arranging a date with a girl who worked in the army and she asked if I could pick her up at 2200 hours.
It's now 91 days and 16 hours later and tonight is my lucky night. Hope she's remembered.