She's been on her knees more times than The Pope
She's been laid on more kitchen floors than lino.
She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.
She's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.
She's turned more tricks than Harry Houdini.
She's been boarded more times than The Queen Mary.
She's been mounted more often than Trigger.
She's been involved with more animals than Rolf Harris
She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.
She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare.
She's been turned more ways than Rubik's Cube.
She's spent more time under men than barstools.
She's seen more traffic than the Dartford Bridge.
She's had more turnovers than Pancakes on Shrove Tuesday.
She's been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.
She's had more marines land on her than on the Normandy Beaches
Her body has been declared a national recreation area.
Her diaphragms come with a service contract.
Her gynecologist entered her in the Grand Canyon look-alike contest.
Her pantyhose has a cat flap.
She was hospitalised for six months when a lorry driver mistook her
for theChannel Tunnel.