Crosswords1 min ago
Postman Pat
OK, so the Fondling in Bed one was only new to me. How about:
It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50. At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch. The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup. 'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the five quid for?'
'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'. 'I asked him what I should give you'.
He said, 'F**k him. Give him a fiver.'
She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea"
It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50. At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch. The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup. 'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the five quid for?'
'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'. 'I asked him what I should give you'.
He said, 'F**k him. Give him a fiver.'
She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea"
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