Law

[marval]

A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.

The judge said, "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined £100."

His lawyer stood up and said, "Thank you, your honour. My client only has £75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd."


Lawyer: "Now, would you please tell the Jury the truth. Why did you shoot your husband with a bow and arrow?"

Defendant: "I didn't want to wake up the children."


In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it.

The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. "Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over.

"You did superbly under cross-examination." "Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried." "How's that?" the lawyer asked. "I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"

[jim360]

More good stuff, first one in particular! Thanks Marval.