Marriage

[frugalfred]

I haven't spoken to my wife for three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.

My wife will buy anything that's marked down - she's just bought two dresses and an escalator.

My wife has just had plastic surgery - I cut up her credit cards.

The wife asked me, "What would it take for you to go on a second honeymoon?"
I said, "A second wife!"

My wife has long, flowing blonde hair - from each nostril.

I bought my wife a chair for her birthday - but she won't let me plug it in!

We went for a ride and my wife went through a red light.
"Didn't you see that red light?" I asked.
She said, "You see one red light, you've seen them all."

I'll never forget the first time I met her - but I'm trying.

My wife went to the beauty parlour for a mud-pack. For two days afterwards, she looked beautiful. Then the mud fell off.

[tonyav]

LOL, like e'm fred.

[Butterbun]

oooh. wicked

[excelsior-1]

i told her i am a D I Y expert

she asked me to put up a shelf
i replied "do it yourself"