Keep Smiling

[marval]

I heard Apple are introducing a new product specifically for cats and dogs.
It's called iAms.


I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up.
It would be nice to be able to piece together my twenties.


I'm typing this from my hospital bed and I'm having problems understanding the accent of my East European nurse, so a moment ago I simply smiled and nodded.
Considering what is happening now, I hope he said "Do you want an enema?"


If anyone is thinking about buying an auto-biography, I don't want to ruin the ending for you but they write a book.


I wouldn't say I'm smug, but every year on my birthday I phone my mother to congratulate her.


I really love my fanbase...without it my fan would fall over.


I've heard that reincarnation is making a comeback


I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves.


Escalators never break down, they just turn into stairs


I used to be a huge fan of Robocop and now I've just been fitted with a robotic leg.
Oh the iron knee.


People think I'm weird because I swallowed an Abacus.
It's what's inside that counts.


My friend was trying to convince me that there are these islands way out in the Atlantic which are technically part of Britain.
"No way," I said, "that's just Scilly."

[excelsior-1]

brilliant --- i like the reincarnation one, although i have to admit to not believing in reincarnation - because i do not see the point in starting a new life as a tin of milk

[starone]

Like them all - and excelsior's.