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Husband And Wife
An old lady had been married for many years when suddenly her husband died.
This is what she put on his tombstone:
"The Light of My Life Has Gone Out."
Not long afterwards she met, fell in love with and married another man.
After thinking at some length about it, she went to the gravestone cutter and had him add a little postscript.
The tombstone now reads: "The Light of My Life Has Gone out P.S. I Found A Match"
Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the 'miracle' products, she asked.
"Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.
"Hey, wait a minute!' Harold interrupted. 'I haven't added them up yet."
When their children had all left home, the wife read an article that was meant to help couples deal with the empty nest.
She explained some of the ideas to her husband.
He nodded in agreement to all the things she said.
Then she told him the article suggested that they spice up their marriage by going out on dates.
He asked, "With each other?"
A girl married a quiet, humble man and after one week, he came home rather flustered.
"When I got to work this morning, I found a pencil tied to my willy."
That's right," she said. "I thought if you couldn't come, at least you could write."
This is what she put on his tombstone:
"The Light of My Life Has Gone Out."
Not long afterwards she met, fell in love with and married another man.
After thinking at some length about it, she went to the gravestone cutter and had him add a little postscript.
The tombstone now reads: "The Light of My Life Has Gone out P.S. I Found A Match"
Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the 'miracle' products, she asked.
"Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.
"Hey, wait a minute!' Harold interrupted. 'I haven't added them up yet."
When their children had all left home, the wife read an article that was meant to help couples deal with the empty nest.
She explained some of the ideas to her husband.
He nodded in agreement to all the things she said.
Then she told him the article suggested that they spice up their marriage by going out on dates.
He asked, "With each other?"
A girl married a quiet, humble man and after one week, he came home rather flustered.
"When I got to work this morning, I found a pencil tied to my willy."
That's right," she said. "I thought if you couldn't come, at least you could write."
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