Kettle.

[cupid04]

I went into a shop and said can someone sell me a kettle?
The bloke said Ken wood
I said where's he?

[Wharton]

I went into a shop in London and asked for 20 cigarettes, the woman said "You're from Glasgow, aren't you?" "How did you know that?", I replied. "This a dairy" she said.

[cupid04]

You should have gone to spec savers, lol!! ^^

[Wharton]

I did, they don't sell cigarettes either.

[marval]

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?"

The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

[redman41]

Dear old Kettle !
Up to it's neck in hot water but continues to sing :-))