Short And Sweet
As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?" His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"
I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... I heard they make a killing.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth.
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso.
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
I had plenty of spots as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.