Crosswords1 min ago
Law
An old man was a witness in a burglary trial.
The defence lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Sam, "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Sam says, "I can see the moon. How far is that?"
A little old man was escorted into the witness box.
After being sworn in the lawyer asked him to explain what happened.
After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case, "and then my wife hit me with a maple leaf."
"Surely that couldn't have caused you any serious injury" said the lawyer.
"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the old man. "It was the leaf from the centre of our dining room table."
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed heads for the local butcher’s shop and steals a joint of roast beef off the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me £7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a cheque for £7.99.
A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read "Consultation: £25.00."
The defence lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Sam, "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Sam says, "I can see the moon. How far is that?"
A little old man was escorted into the witness box.
After being sworn in the lawyer asked him to explain what happened.
After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case, "and then my wife hit me with a maple leaf."
"Surely that couldn't have caused you any serious injury" said the lawyer.
"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the old man. "It was the leaf from the centre of our dining room table."
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed heads for the local butcher’s shop and steals a joint of roast beef off the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me £7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a cheque for £7.99.
A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read "Consultation: £25.00."
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