A Few More

[marval]

I wouldn’t say they were posh, but the toilet coughed before it flushed.


I wouldn’t say my wife’s ugly, but the milkman flirts with me.


When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn’t take me to the doctor, he used me as a night light.


I went to the doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.


My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.


I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough."


I went to a small guest house. The manager said, 'You want a room with running water? I said, 'What do you think I am? A trout?'


My father drank so heavily, when he blew on the birthday cake he lit the candles.

[chrissa1]

The first one made me laugh out loud.

[marval]

I like that one as well

[jim360]

One of my favourites, attributed to Les Dawson:

"I heard a knock on the door and it was the mother-in-law. I knew it was the mother-in-law because the rats started throwing themselves on the traps."