News1 min ago
Little Johnny Again
The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words.
She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.
"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?"
Johnny from the back of the room yells, "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humour she picks Mike instead. "OK Mike, what is your word." Saturday says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables."
Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "OK Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."
Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
"No Ma'am, your thinking of '***', and that's only two syllables."
"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.
"Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"
The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for 'Show & Tell' and the next day every kid had something.
The teacher asks Wendy, "What did you bring?"
"I brought a Walkman," answers Wendy.
"And what is it for?" the teacher asks.
"You can listen to music with it!" replies Wendy.
"That's nice Wendy, and what did you bring Kenny?" asks the teacher.
"I brought a electrical can opener, it opens cans!" says Kenny.
"Well done, Kenny. I see little Johnny didn't bring anything!" the teacher notices.
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I did. It's in the hall." The whole class looks out into the hall.
"What is that," the teacher asks.
Little Johnny replies, "It's a heart and lung device they use in hospitals to keep your heart going!"
The teacher asks, "And what did your father say when you took it?"
Little Johnny replies, "Aaaaahhhhh!"
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.
She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked.
"My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
Little Johnny in the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"
She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.
"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?"
Johnny from the back of the room yells, "I do! I do!" Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humour she picks Mike instead. "OK Mike, what is your word." Saturday says Mike. "Great, that has three syllables."
Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "OK Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."
Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
"No Ma'am, your thinking of '***', and that's only two syllables."
"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.
"Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"
The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for 'Show & Tell' and the next day every kid had something.
The teacher asks Wendy, "What did you bring?"
"I brought a Walkman," answers Wendy.
"And what is it for?" the teacher asks.
"You can listen to music with it!" replies Wendy.
"That's nice Wendy, and what did you bring Kenny?" asks the teacher.
"I brought a electrical can opener, it opens cans!" says Kenny.
"Well done, Kenny. I see little Johnny didn't bring anything!" the teacher notices.
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I did. It's in the hall." The whole class looks out into the hall.
"What is that," the teacher asks.
Little Johnny replies, "It's a heart and lung device they use in hospitals to keep your heart going!"
The teacher asks, "And what did your father say when you took it?"
Little Johnny replies, "Aaaaahhhhh!"
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.
She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked.
"My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
Little Johnny in the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"
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