Fair Game

marval | 16:47 Wed 22nd Jan 2014 | Jokes

5 Answers

I saw two Pheasants racing to get the last few seeds from the bird feed when one fell over. The other pheasant stopped and waited till the first got back on its feet.
I thought to myself "fair game".

At the weasel fanciers exhibition I thoroughly disgraced myself.
Apparently, I'd taken along the wrong breed of animal.
*cough*..... I'll get me stoat.

People like the accent of Wales, I much prefer dolphins myself.

I was in McDonald's yesterday when this big bloke who must have been about 7ft walked in and asked for a cheeseburger.
I thought to myself, "That's a tall order."

What did the teabag say as it vigorously got out of the teapot?
I think I've strained myself.

Just letting you all know I'm in hospital. Don't panic, I just poisoned myself. I ate what I thought was an onion. Turned out to be a daffodil bulb.
I should be out by spring.

My agent said I should use a pen name, so from now on I am calling myself Bic Parker.

I saw a transparent billboard today
"That's a clear sign" I thought to myself.

I was totally stumped when someone asked me what the word 'ham' would sound like without any vowels.
"hmmm" I thought to myself.

As I sat there in the hospital waiting area, I noticed a sign that said, 'CCTV In Operation'
I thought to myself, "I hope it's Ok."

I went to the pub today, and got myself a carvery.
The barmaid said, "Just help yourself with the food, then take it to your table."
By the time I got it home, It was stone cold.

I wanted to fit in with all the cool, "gangster" type kids on my estate, so I got myself a beanie hat.
However, they just laughed and threw eggs at me when I showed up with my Heinz endorsed beret.