Wake Up
A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"
The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to get up and go check it out.
This time, however, he found that there really was a man with a gun who had entered to rob the house!
As the thief was about to flee the man said, "Stop! You have to come with me and meet my wife."
Surprised, the thief turned around abruptly and said, "Why would you want me to meet your wife?"
The man replied, "She's been expecting you for 20 years."
Jen has been shopping and was driving home.
She didn’t realise she was speeding, until she was pulled over by the police.
Jen complied, and she was fined twenty-five pounds.
She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her cheque book, should learn of the incident.
Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover £25."