Not Getting Any

[sunny-dave]

There's this young couple, let's call them gness and tony, they've been married for about a year, and the bride isn't getting any sex. Just about every night tony comes home, has a shower, gets changed and goes down to the pub. She's getting increasingly rampant as the days go on, but each night she is disappointed.

Tony comes home every night completely hammered and unfit for sexual activity. One particular night when tony gets in from work, gness is seated provocatively on the sofa, wearing the skimpiest dress she has, suspenders, stockings, and very sexy lace knickers and bra.

As is always the case, tony comes home runs upstairs, gets ready and goes to the pub. Once again gness is rejected, so she sits back with a bottle of wine to console herself. Then at 11pm (well before normal) she hears tony coming up the driveway and opening the front door.

Gness re-adopts her provocative pose on the sofa and to her surprise, tony's first words are, "Right woman, get upstairs - into the bedroom."

"YES!" she says under her breath as she runs upstairs, "This is the night, I'm gonna get some!"

When gness reaches the bedroom, she removes her outer garments and sits on the edge of the bed in her black lace knickers - ready for tony, as he stomps up the stairs. As tony pushes the bedroom door open he says, "Right, now get your clothes off!"

Gness doesn't need telling twice, it's off with everything. "Now get over in front of the mirror..",

"Kinky!" she thinks. "Great!"

"and do a handstand..."

"Oh god, I've been waiting for this for ages," thinks gness...

Tony walks over to gness, parts her legs and places his chin in her crutch...

... "Perhaps the guys at the bar were right, a beard would suit me!"

[tonyav]

LOL. Gawd, she's gonna kill ya, Dave.

[sunny-dave]

I'm hoping she is busy with her amdrams this week, tony ...

[cupid04]

Lol, lol, lol!

[cupid04]

sunny-dave, how do you know that gness doesn't shave??

[tonyav]

Someone may have forwarded the link to this thread in an email though, Dave !.

[berniecuddles]

pmsl LOL

[sunny-dave]

Just a lucky guess, cupes :)

I think I better start digging an escape tunnel, tony !!

[tonyav]

Dave, don't know why but that old film ''The Wooden Horse'' comes to mind.

[DTCwordfan]

that's the joke, gness does shave, tony doesn't..........

[pixie373]

Lol:-)

[tonyav]

Shaddap, your all gonna pay for this I'm tellin ya ;-)

[DTCwordfan]

Phube, we're off the hook...............

[gness]

So there I was...quite happy after a fun night and almost pulling at the theatre......I rarely look at jokes.....but I do have lovely friends....who email me.....

Dave....just how fast and more to the point...how far...can that new bike of yours take you?.......☻

[tonyav]

LOL, told ya, Dave.

[jim360]

One of these days, Dave, I am really going to let gness teach you a lesson... :)

[sunny-dave]

I'm not sure how hot she is ..... on astrophysics :)

[gness]

Look, sunshine.....I'm hot! Okay?........☺

[DTCwordfan]

I need my hands warming.........settles in with a port.

[marval]

lol