12 Zen Teachings

[Graham-W]

ZEN TEACHINGS


1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just *** off and leave me alone.

2. No one is listening until you fart.

3. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

4. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

5. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

6. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

8. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

9. Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time.

10. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

11. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... then things just keep getting worse.

12. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[pixie373]

Lol. Love those! :-)

[marval]

lol, very good.

[Slapshot]

Confucious say ; Man with hole in trouser pocket feel cocky all day

[elliemay1]

No.5 belongs to Billy Connolly. I always remember him telling that one.

[Graham-W]

I, personally, like no. 10. You may as well just say, "Yes, dear", and get it over with.