The Tennis Player's Prayer

[marval]

Please don't let me be so nervous
When I toss the ball for service.

Give me speed and strength unhaulting,
Aces and no double-faulting.

Instill in me the skill and dash
Of Agassiie, Williams, Roddick and Ashe.

When a high lob starts to fall,
Must I always miss the ball?

Lord, I know you could, I'm sure,
Find me a Tennis Elbow cure.

With the guidance from above,
Never let me fall in 'love.'

And, Lord, while on matters of this sort
Please let me find an open court!

[jim360]

Also, seriously, please don't let me play Nadal.

[MichaelZZ]

I half remember a poem I heard years ago on Terry Wogan's morning radio programme, "Vitas Gerulaitis with your shorts so gleaming whitus. I'd love to get Titus - Andronicus with you".
Has anyone got the full, rather than the half-remembered, version please?

[marval]

Sorry Michael, I don't know that one, and I can't find it either.

[MichaelZZ]

Found it!

(by Brenda Ray)

Oh, Vitas Gerulaitis
All in shining whitus
With your shorts all nice and tightus
I could really fancy you.
Oh, Vitas Gerulaitis
I won't put up a fightus
Come round and have a bitus
And a mug of Aqua Vitus
And I'll get nicely Titus
Andronicus with you...

[marval]

Glad you found it Michael, I hadn't heard that one.

[paulllambert]

You've served up a good one there, marval

[marval]

Thank you paulllambert, I thought it was appropriate at the moment.