Tourist

[marval]

A tourist was being led through the jungles of Brazil.

"Is it true," he asked, "that a crocodile won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."


Look, guide, here are some jaguar tracks.

Good. You see where they go and I’ll find out where they came from.


A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Inca temple.

The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details.

To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures.

The tourist then queries how old the temple is.

"This temple is 553 years old", replies the guide.

Impressed at this accurate dating, he inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.

"Easy", replies the guide, "the archaeologists said the temple was 550 years old, and that was three years ago"


Tourist: The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?

Native: No, we just let them go barefoot.

[puternut]

///Look, guide, here are some jaguar tracks. ///

And a few feet away were some Land Rover tracks!!

[baza]

And some Mustang tracks

[cupid04]

And railway tracks...

[puternut]

Sorry marval - looks like I started something here.

[cupid04]

....the tracks of my tears...of laughter, lol!

[marval]

That's alright puternut, I enjoyed all the answers.