Shopping At Costco

whiskeryron | 17:09 Wed 03rd Sep 2014 | Jokes

8 Answers

>>>
>>>
>>> LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
>>>
>>> Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO
>>>
>>> buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
>>>
>>> for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog
>>>
>>> and was in the check-out line
>>>
>>> when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>>>
>>> What did she think I had an elephant?
>>>
>>> So because I'm retired and have little to do,
>>>
>>> on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
>>>
>>> I was starting the Purina Diet again.
>>>
>>> I added that I probably shouldn't,
>>>
>>> because I ended up in the hospital last time,
>>>
>>> but that I'd lost 50 pounds
>>>
>>> before I awakened in an intensive care ward
>>>
>>> with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
>>>
>>> and IVs in both arms.
>>>
>>> I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet
>>>
>>> and that the way that it works is,
>>>
>>> to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets
>>>
>>> and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
>>>
>>> and I was going to try it again.
>>>
>>> (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>>>
>>> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
>>>
>>> I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.
>>>
>>> I thought the guy behind her
>>>
>>> was going to have a heart attack
>>>
>>> he was laughing so hard.
>>>
>>> Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
>>>
>>> Better watch what you ask retired people.
>>>
>>> They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say

>>>

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