Food
Little Elizabeth and her mother were having lunch together, and the mother, who always tried to impress facts upon her young daughter, said:
"These little sardines, Elizabeth, are sometimes eaten by the larger fish."
Elizabeth gazed at the sardines in wonder, and then asked:
"But, mum, how do the large fish get the cans open?"
A husband took his young daughter to the supermarket where, in addition to the carefully prepared list of healthy items, they had some biscuits
His wife immediately glared at the biscuits.
"It's OK, honey," he said. "This box of biscuits has one-third fewer calories than usual."
"How come?" she asked.
"Because we ate a third on the way home."
"How were your sandwiches today, darling?" asked the wife as her husband returned home from work.
"They were fine," he replied.
"Are you sure they tasted OK?"
"Yes, they were really good."
"You don't feel ill at all?"
"No, never felt better. Why?"
"Oh, it's just that tomorrow you're going to have to clean your shoes with fish paste."
On Johnny's return from the birthday party, his mother expressed the hope that he had behaved politely at the tea table, and properly said, "Yes, if you please" and "No, thank you," when anything was offered him.
Johnny shook his head seriously.
"I guess I didn't say, 'No, thank you.' I ate everything there was."