From Scotland With Love

[McMouse]

A golfer is cupping one hand to scoop water from a Highland burn on the Saint Andrew's Golf Course.
A green keeper sees him and shouts, "Dinnae drink the waater! Et's foo ae coo's *** and pish."
The golfer replies, "My good fellow, I'm from England. Could you please repeat that in English?"
The green keeper replies , "I said , use two hands..... you'll spill less that way!"