I'm Going To Buy

[marval]

I'm going to buy some Velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?

I don't trust people with graph paper. They're always plotting something.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

Did you hear about the mushroom that won gold at the Olympics? He was a champignon to his people.

I am selling my guitar, no strings attached.

A man drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.

I don't know what's up with this bottle of Whiskey, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it.

When I think of books, I touch my shelf.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

I met a woman with twelve boobs. Sounds weird, dozentit?

Darth Vader once made cookies, but they were a little on the dark side.

To the guy who invented Zero.
Thanks for nothing.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.