Road rules3 mins ago
Why Has
Why has no one invented bubble wrap where the bubbles are filled with helium so that your packages are lighter and thus cheaper to post?
I used to be scared about digging for coal but now I have bigger phobias. So that's just a miner one.
Why wash towels, aren't we clean when we use them?
If only I had been born a Lego brick.
I could have made something of my life.
At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110%.
Unfortunately, I was applying to be a statistician.
A lady on a train was reading a newspaper article about Life and Death Statistics.
Fascinated, she turned to the man sitting next to her and said, "did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"
"Really?" he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"
There's a sign at the local pub that says 'Watch Football Live Here.'
So how come after a match I get kicked out when I bring down my blanket and mattress
I can't understand why people think capital punishment is too harsh, I was in London only this weekend and it wasn't that bad.
My husband said he's leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with plants.
I said where's this stemming from petal?
My partner has just texted me saying, "Come home now if you want an extravaganza.” I'm really excited, I don't even know what a Vaganza is.
I was in the pub celebrating winning £100 million on the lottery when my ex walked in and demanded half.
I said, "Sure, it's the least I can do"
He said, "What, are you serious? Thank you, thank you so much"
I said, "Alright love, calm down. Fosters or Carling?"
I used to be scared about digging for coal but now I have bigger phobias. So that's just a miner one.
Why wash towels, aren't we clean when we use them?
If only I had been born a Lego brick.
I could have made something of my life.
At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110%.
Unfortunately, I was applying to be a statistician.
A lady on a train was reading a newspaper article about Life and Death Statistics.
Fascinated, she turned to the man sitting next to her and said, "did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"
"Really?" he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"
There's a sign at the local pub that says 'Watch Football Live Here.'
So how come after a match I get kicked out when I bring down my blanket and mattress
I can't understand why people think capital punishment is too harsh, I was in London only this weekend and it wasn't that bad.
My husband said he's leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with plants.
I said where's this stemming from petal?
My partner has just texted me saying, "Come home now if you want an extravaganza.” I'm really excited, I don't even know what a Vaganza is.
I was in the pub celebrating winning £100 million on the lottery when my ex walked in and demanded half.
I said, "Sure, it's the least I can do"
He said, "What, are you serious? Thank you, thank you so much"
I said, "Alright love, calm down. Fosters or Carling?"
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