Ralph
Ralph, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots so he bought a pair and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Ethel, age 75, looked him over. "Nope."
Frustrated, Ralph stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely
naked except for the boots. He asked Ethel a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Ethel looked up and said with her best deadpan look, "Ralph, what's different? It's hanging down today,
it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow.
Furious, Ralph yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, ETHEL?"
"Nope. Not a clue, Ralph," she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"
Without missing a beat Ethel replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ralph. Shoulda bought a hat."