Crosswords4 mins ago
Ungrateful Wife,
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making Love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me –faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!'
And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
And the husband began — “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the shepherds pie I made for you last night, the one you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured it in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued – “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please … do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’”
.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me –faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!'
And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
And the husband began — “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the shepherds pie I made for you last night, the one you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured it in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued – “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please … do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’”
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