Crosswords1 min ago
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending to ransack, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No-one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a budgie, who pipes up again "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" "So what", says the burglar, "You're only a budgie!" To which the budgie replies "Maybe, but Jesus is a Rottweiler!"
A bloke goes to the vet with his budgie, which he fears is dead.
The vet says he can't be sure and needs further tests. In comes his dog, a labrador, who sniffs and licks the bird, then shakes his head. Next the vet brings in a cat, who looks at it, then slinks morosely away. "I'm afraid your budgie is definitely dead," says the vet. "That will be £1,010."
"What?" says the owner. "More than a grand to tell me my budgie is dead?"
"'Fraid so," says the vet. "Normally it would be a tenner, but then you had the lab report and the cat
The vet says he can't be sure and needs further tests. In comes his dog, a labrador, who sniffs and licks the bird, then shakes his head. Next the vet brings in a cat, who looks at it, then slinks morosely away. "I'm afraid your budgie is definitely dead," says the vet. "That will be £1,010."
"What?" says the owner. "More than a grand to tell me my budgie is dead?"
"'Fraid so," says the vet. "Normally it would be a tenner, but then you had the lab report and the cat