Trump Jokes?

[EDDIE51]

Forget 'Blond' Jokes or 'Irish' jokes the new rage is for 'Trump Jokes'
here are a few
1 What is Trump's Favorite song
We Shall Overcomb
2 How is Trump planning to get rid of the Dept of Education?
Rename it Trump University
3 Women have the gender card, Immigrants have the racist card what card do 'Rednecks' have ?
The Trump card!
4 How is Trump going to organise his deportation program?
Juan by Juan !
5 Why does Trump prefer ET to an immigrant ?
ET went home !

[EDDIE51]

What aircraft does Trump fly in
Hairforce One!
What have Trump and Pink Floyd got in common?
The Wall !

[EDDIE51]

People misunderstand what Trump says.
He he will make America Grate again!

[Canary42]

He'll get shot because none of his minders will have the nerve to shout "Donald, Duck".

[1ozzy]

Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school one day.
In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”
He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”
Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.

Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

[zebo]

Glad you joined recently to chastise anyone who criticises Trump and thank you for years of fun at his expense. You do know what trump means, don't you? I've never been called a 'liberal' before, I've got a fuzzy feeling! In most jokes one can substitute other names, Bush for example did the rounds.

[zebo]

Sorry, that was for Vannon.

[mushroom25]

I believe that what ain't bad is really good
I believe Lester Piggott was misunderstood
I believe that bears do really *** in woods
I believe, yes, I believe.

I believe that global warming's here for sure
I believe that Windows Ten is secure
I believe that the colour of skin, it should be bluish
And I believe that Pope Francis is Jewish

Yes, I believe that George W Bush is clever
That The Queen will live for ever
Morse's middle name's "Endeavour"
And the best pop music trio was The Wevver
...Girls

I believe that McDonalds burgers contain meat
And that Macaulay Culkin was rather sweet
I believe that The Weakest Link is bright and merry
And that Eastenders is deep social commentary

I believe that Simon Cowell's kind and witty
And that Ann Widdecombe is really pretty
I believe that Maggie Simpson shot Liberty Valance
I believe Fox News really is "fair and balanced"
And I believe the Devil's ready to repent
But I can't believe Donald Trump is President...

[vulcan42]

With Donald building a wall to keep out Mexicans and Canada welcoming Americans, America will soon be known as the land of the three.