Lexophilia

[bhg481]

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!



• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.



• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.



• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.



• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.



• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.



• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.



• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can

stop any time.



• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.



• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but

I'd never met herbivore.



• When chemists die, they barium.



• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.



• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.



• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.



• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.



• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job

because she couldn't control her pupils?



• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



• Broken pencils are pointless.



• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.



• I dropped out of communism class because of terrible Marx.



• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.



• Velcro - what a rip off!



• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

[marval]

Good ones

[Patsy33]

We have so much fun with English language! Love all of them
...

[zebo]

Mr Eskimo, Hope dinner's interesting. Mrs Eskimo, No, whale meet again.

[zebo]

Whoops, Whale meat again

[elliemay1]

Love the 'brake fluid' one!

[Everhelpful]

Are you Tim Vine in disguise,bhg?

[Wellfield]

Absolutely brilliant - many thanks.