Sports Entrants...............

[Shaglene]

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get into the Olympics but they haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. "McTavish, Scotland" he says, "Discus", and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. "Waddington-Smythe, England," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland," he says, "Fencing."

[Voltage]

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand: 'Olympic Condoms.' Impressed, he buys a pack. Upon arriving home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. 'Olympic condoms?' she blurts. 'What makes them so special? ''They're in three colors,' he replies, 'gold, silver, and bronze.''What color are you planning on wearing tonight?' she asks cheekily.'Why, gold, of course,' says the man proudly.'Really?' she responds. 'Why don't you wear the silver tonight? It'd be nice if you came second for a change.