My Pet
My pet mouse only responds when I refer to him as a mous. I don’t tell anyone his real name as he would prefer to remain a non-e mous
I walked past a barber’s today who only serves sheep and thought, “That’s shear madness.”
Just saw this great comedian who spent all night making jokes about this amazing silk suit he was wearing. I just don’t know where he gets his material from.
My underground spying organisation was a big failure. We had a mole all along.
Exercise programme: Take one Weetabix. Take an Aero chocolate bar. Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix. Voila. Aerobix.
I performed stand up to an audience of ghosts. They wouldn’t stop booing.
How do Geordies listen to music? On a Why iPod
I have invented a new fizzy fruit drink that you can wash your hands with. It’s called Sani-Tizer.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator, but then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?