New Job

[marval]

I got a job at Asda today, on the fish counter. I knew I Haddock in me.

I told my wife that I got a new job as a puppeteer “How on earth did you do that?” she asked “I had to pull a few strings” I replied.

Despite numerous hints, I hadn’t realised my son has been doing ballet for years. Today I finally put tu and tu together.

Recently I was on an astronomy course with John McEnroe. We were looking through a telescope at a star in the night sky and he said, “You cannot be Sirius.”

I went in to buy some jeans and said to the woman, “I am looking for some jeans.” She said, “What leg?” I said “Both.”

My girlfriend is going to be really happy with me. I’ve told her to stay in and polish my medieval battle re-enactment uniform while I go to the pub with the lads. She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

I have been feeling down all evening, I think my duvet has split.

Do you know what really gets my goat? Goat thieves.

I went to the music shop and asked for a violin. The shopkeeper then gave me one with a bow. I don’t know why he even wrapped it.

I have been up all night working on a cold case, twenty four bottles of Stella.

[tonyav]

Cod only know's how you got that fish counter job, marval.

[marval]

Pure luck Tony, but it is a brill job.

[tonyav]

Do you find it a good plaice to work for ?.

[marval]

Yes, I make some lovely music playing the scales.

[tonyav]

Would that be sole music then, marval.

[Captain2]

With a bit of practice you'll soon become a Dab hand

[marval]

I love it, I have nothing to carp about. It beats my previous job as a piano tuna.

[Voltage]

I'm trying to read this fast...I better get my skates on !

[maggiebee]

Yip Volty - turbo(t) charged.

[Patsy33]

Good ones Marval..Lol!.

[Shaglene]

Some of the answers are as good as the quickies...............