Birthday Present

[Patsy33]

Bloke says to his Missus, "Hey fatso, what would you like for your birthday?"
She says,"Don't get ****ing lippy!"
He says, Ok, sorted. I'll get you a mascara"..

[maggiebee]

He will be released from hospital next week!

[Tilly2]

I would have said, 'A divorce'.

[BANANASPLITS]

My missus said for your birthday I'll be in my birthday suit...I said I hope you iron it 1st...

[Patsy33]

^^^^
Oohh! That was a pressing statement!

[BANANASPLITS]

She was steaming

[Tilly2]

How de...pressing.

[Canary42]

I'm sure they'll kiss and makeup.

[zebo]

Bet he got a few lashes for that bit of stick,