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Yorkshire Farmer............
A farmer sadly lost his wife. He contacted the Yorkshire Post to arrange an obituary. The couple had been happily married for 50 years before she passed away.
The farmer went to the newspaper office to make the arrangements. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “ Ow Much? ”
“Ah want summat simple” he explained, “My Gladys were a gud ‘arted an’ ‘ard-workin’ Yorkshire lass but she wunt av wanted owt swanky.”
“Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt av wanted owt la-di-da. Just put, ‘Gladys Braithwaite died’”.
“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th March. That'll do”.
“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.
The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’. That'll do”, he said.
“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.
“No, no”, he cried, “she wouldn' av wanted me to splash out”.
“The words are included in the standard price”, the woman informed him.
“Ah they? Tha means av paid for 'em?”.
“Yes, indeed sir”
“Well, if av paid for 'em , am 'avin ‘em”
The obituary was duly printed as follows:
Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th March. Sadly missed. Also tractor for sale.
The farmer went to the newspaper office to make the arrangements. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “ Ow Much? ”
“Ah want summat simple” he explained, “My Gladys were a gud ‘arted an’ ‘ard-workin’ Yorkshire lass but she wunt av wanted owt swanky.”
“Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt av wanted owt la-di-da. Just put, ‘Gladys Braithwaite died’”.
“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th March. That'll do”.
“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.
The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’. That'll do”, he said.
“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.
“No, no”, he cried, “she wouldn' av wanted me to splash out”.
“The words are included in the standard price”, the woman informed him.
“Ah they? Tha means av paid for 'em?”.
“Yes, indeed sir”
“Well, if av paid for 'em , am 'avin ‘em”
The obituary was duly printed as follows:
Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th March. Sadly missed. Also tractor for sale.
Answers
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A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - look man, you've left the "e" out, you've left the "e" out!
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud -
"E, she were thin".
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