My Friend

[marval]

My friend said to me, “I really fancy a McDonald’s.” I thought, “That’s a weird fetish.”

Since I fell out with my neighbour, who’s hard of hearing, I have been receiving deaf threats all week.

My mum always used to read me fairy tales before bedtime. I never had the heart to tell her they were boring just like the Dettol and Mr Sheen tales.

I keep losing my focus at work lately. My secretary has to keep reminding me where I parked.

I really hate my job at the French cheese factory, I camembert it anymore.

Sometimes I ask my barber to stand on a ladder while he does my hair. It’s a cut above the rest.

I went to meet my partner in the new shopping centre and ended up getting lost. Yes, series one to five on DVD for ten pounds.

I have just finished building Rome with my children’s Lego. It took me a day.

I do love the Top Gun soundtrack, it takes my breath away.

I bought a new chest freezer today. My nipples are now constantly erect.

[Patsy33]

Lol...