Irish Parachute

[marval]

The Irish have just created a new parachute. It opens on impact.

I just stole 1p off of a pirate. He became irate.

I am worried about my budgie at home, while I have been away he hasn’t tweeted once.

Scientists have isolated an entirely new chemical compound that emits a high-pitched giggling sound. They think it probably contains an element of fun.

I told my partner to get his glad rags on tonight as I am taking care of dinner, and I have promised him ‘The Ritz’ I have never seen anyone get so excited over a box of crackers before.

I have not seen my local Vicar for weeks. I think I might report him to the Missing Parsons Bureau.

I have just got a lifetime ban from the zoo! Turns out when they say “kids go free” doesn’t mean I should release the goats from the petting zoo!

MY partner told me over breakfast that he has invented a shower gel for pigs. I said “hogwash.”

My partner is weird and keeps making sculptures of me out of charcoal. They are all carbon copies.

I had to quit my job at a Cane Factory because I was getting too much stick

[JimF]

Seriously? You honestly think that Irish people are ignorant?

[marval]

I know they are not.

[Patsy33]

That is worrying about your budgie, Marval.
I remember how excited you were when you first bought him, because he was going cheap...