I Go Around

[marval]

I go around handing out hot water bottles and blankets at comedy gigs. I am the warm up act.

I am a very bad escape artist. I don’t get out much.

I can’t seem to get on the Lilt website. It keeps saying it is refreshing.

I walked past a shop that was selling microscopes. So I went in for a closer look.

I had my eyes transplanted from a female red deer, and now I can see much better Of course, it is always easier with hind sight.

I am writing a book about Elizabethan clothing and how uncomfortable it was in the winter. It’s a ruff draught.

I broke up with my partner when I caught him in bed with another woman. I wasn’t too bothered about the cheating, it was finding out he was a woman that got to me.

I was so excited earlier when I had a Royal Flush in my hands. I thought, “I love working in the sewer under Buckingham palace.”

I dropped a clanger at work today. They fired me from the bell foundry.

I have just finished 50 shades of pink. It is a true story about a man, his washing machine and an elusive red sock.

[Spicerack]

//I dropped a clanger at work today. They fired me from the bell foundry.//
Appeal.

[Patsy33]

Lol!