The Shelves Are All So Empty,

[Tuvok]

Got this in an email today :
(I've added spaces in words that my get replaced by AB filter!)

The shelves are all so empty,

[Tuvok]

Trying again!

The shelves are all so empty,
It really is a farce,
I ask myself the question,
How will I wipe my ars e?

Do I turn to Ebay?
And buy some for a grand,
From a bloke in Rochdale,
That could be second hand.

Asda has no bog roll,
Tescos got none too,
What will I do tomorrow,
When I want a poo.

Lidl's shelves are empty,
Aldi's stock is low,
I really need some andrex,
Please tell me where to go.

Do I use a pair of socks?
That might be alright,
But then I have a problem,
My feet would stink of shi te.

I could use a towel,
But that's not very fair,
Someone might use the same one,
When drying their hair.

So when the time arrives,
And I know it's not a trump,
I'll be prepared and ready,
For my first paperless dump.

I will use an old poster,
I have of Miley Cyrus,
So you can kiss my fat clean ars e,
Corona virus.

Only wish I’d been smart enough to compose this ditty

[AuntPollyGrey]

My Oh has just returned form a full shop at Tesco and got everything on the list including toilet rolls -where DO you lot live ??????

[Old_Geezer]

Theshelvesareallsoempty,

Removed them again ;-)

[Cloverjo]

The only thing I couldn’t get yesterday was frozen veg. I wonder if that might have been because the telegraph published a section on how to cook meals with tinned and frozen food.

[Canary42]

Very good Tuvok - all we need now is a tune to sing it to.

[ynnafymmi]

How about the Chinese national anthem,Canary,or "The Internationale" seeing that this virus came from either China or Russia.

[zebo]

Why are people panic buying frozen vegetables, there's no shortage of fresh?

[pixie374]

One of my friends asked me what would happen when all the schools shut, and teenage boys are locked in with nothing to do. We think we have a shortage of toilet roll now....

[marval]

Good one Tuvok.