One Liners

[Rondy]

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
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Tonight when you get home, put a handful of ice cubes down your wife's nightie and say: 'There's the chest freezer you always wanted'.
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Age doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

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My dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby, he said, 'Is this a joke?'
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I've seen a topless lady ventriloquist. Nobody has ever seen her lips move.
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The man who invented cats' eyes got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat in his headlights. If the cat had been going the other way, he would have invented the pencil sharpener.

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How do you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday? Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.
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My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night, saying: 'Well, that taught me a lesson'.
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[Patsy33]

Sounds like Ken Dodd's jokes.. :-))