Canoeing

[Rondy]

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?"

"Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "If he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's probably trying to swim back home."

[DTCwordfan]

that's like one of my Cornish ones the other night....

Farmer to his wife,"When I parssed the barn Fred 'ad 'anged iself from a beam". "Did 'ee cut'n down?" said the wife. "No 'ee wad'n dead yet." said the farmer....